The worst sales pitch ever.

In addition to the construction project, we have been trying to sell our current home for a little while right now. We had an agent which contract we didn't renew so we started looking for a new agent at the end of last week. At any rate, it must have been indicated somewhere on the real estate agents database tool that we were "sans" agent because I got this strange call last week. There were a couple of messages left on our answering machine which I retrieved on the week-end. They sort of went like this: 


Message #1: "Hi, this is So and so, remember me? We were in touch a few years ago when you guys were looking into buying a home. I was wondering what the status on your house is because I want to buy a house for myself and I am very interested in your place".  
A few days later, message number 2: "Hi, this is So and So again, I was wondering if you could call me. This is regarding your house". 


Talk about someone who completely dropped off the face of the earth and resurfaces at an opportune time. Good timing. I thought "hmmmm, that's a little odd... he wants to buy our house. I am not sure what to think". Well, in a way, it is good news since we have been trying to get rid of it for the past 4 months almost. So I called him back and he asked me if he could come and see the house sort of... RIGHT AWAY. Wow... okay, that's fine with me.


He shows up and after we exchanged a few platitudes, we all sit down waiting for him to start. So here is how it goes:


- So and So: "Sorry, I have not had time to get ready for this presentation, so bare with me..." AS he pulls out his marketing material.
- Me: O_o 
- Hubby, looking at me: o_O
- Me: "okay..." (but thinking: "what presentation?  Aren't you here to buy our house? I don't understand what's happening here".)
-So and so: "Alright, so here is a house that I rented to Tom Cruise last year. He is such a nice guy, he was there with Suri and his wife wasn't because she was out shooting a movie."
- Me: "Oh... that's... interesting... I guess." (but thinking :"who gives a shit???? I don't even like Tom Cruise anyways.")
- Hubby sarcastically (he likes Tom Cruise as much as I do): "Oh, yeah, Tom Cruise. Did he bring all his Scientology friends?"
- So and So ignoring the comment: "And this house, I sold to Marc Lemieux. Not that I want to drop names here but you know."
- Me: "Marc Who?" (and thinking "One, you are totally name dropping and two, who the fuck is Marc Lemieux and why don't you get to the point here dude, I don't have all day.")
- Hubby: "Who?"
- So and So: "He is a famous hockey player"
- Me and Hubby: "Ahhhh, okay..."
- Hubby: (kind of taking the bull by the horns at this point): "So aside from trying to pitch a job, what brings you here?
- Me: "Yeah, what was that about you wanting to buy our house?" 
- So and So: "Oh yes, right, right (yeah, you seriously went OFF track here dude). Well, my girlfriend doesn't really like the exterior of your house but I guess I can try to bring her here".


                  .........................................AWKWARD SILENCE........................................


                                                                          O_O


- Hubby: "Ahem. Alright, well, I guess you let us know then."
- So and So, sort of uncomfortable: "You bet!".
- Me: O_o (but thinking "What the hell was that??? Your girlfriend DOESN'T even LIKE our house so there is no way you are going to buy it from us!!! What a waste of time and a tacky way to try and get a listing). 


Hubby walks him back to the door, while I am just sitting there, trying to figure out what just happened. He comes back upstairs and says "well, that was pretty lame, wasn't it? This guy is like... hmmm, like...  that Swiper from Dora!"... Me, *_*: "Yes, he is and what a reference, I can tell you have been watching too many cartoons lately!". 


Okay, a little reminder to agents: next time you want a listing, why not call and honestly say it? There is nothing wrong with that, I'd understand and give you a chance to come and give us a presentation. But to hide your ulterior motive behind such a huge fucking lie, that's just crossing the line and honestly, there is no way I would hire someone like you to sell my house after that. What were you thinking? Frankly, I don't understand people sometimes.