In "normal" life, when someone has been M.I.A for a while, people say "no news is good news". And it is usually right. However, in the construction world, I found out that "no news is bad, VERY VERY bad news". Back in January, we ordered our floors and a material called Prodema that we are using as cladding on one portion of the house. The floors are manufactured in Germany, the Prodema is manufactured in Spain. Both products typically have a lead time of 10-12 weeks. Given the fact that both orders were placed in January, the materials should be ready for delivery to the job site this week or next.
A couple of weeks ago, we had a meeting with our Prodema sales rep who told us that the Prodema had arrived on our continent, was clearing custom and was supposed to be delivered to the site a couple of weeks after. Consequently, we started prepping the house for the cladding which involved putting up blue skin on the sheating and mounting the strapping on which the panels have to be fixed. I emailed the rep last week to find out when the delivery was supposed to take place as we have to make room for it. It sort of went last this:
"Hi A, could you let me know when we can expect the Prodema to arrive to the site. Thanks".
" Hi, I am away on business, someone from my office will call you today to let you know."
Ok, great... The day goes by, then another day goes by.... nobody calls. So I decide to call the office.
Me -"Hi, I am trying to locate an order. Could you transfer me to A?"
Receptionist (who clearly doesn't know sh*t about anything) - "Oh, he is away on business"
Me - "WTF, how long is he away on business for... I need someone to get back to me asap".
Receptionist - "I am transferring you to his cellphone".
Me - "Noooooooooooooo!" Too late. I get transferred to his voicemail once again.
Well, obviously at this point, I realize that the receptionist is running interferences on her boss's behalf and I also realize that he is avoiding me. That is probably because he has BAD news. But how bad?
Well, it turns out pretty damn bad. The order can't be located at this point. It is either on a boat in a container, so it could be here next week or in three weeks or it is still in Spain in the factory. Nobody knows anything. How is that possible? I don't get it. I mean, shouldn't there be a tracking order number? I worked in a furniture store a long time ago and we always knew where our furniture was. Apparently the best case scenario is for the material to show up at the beginning of May... But really, I don't care about the best case scenario at this point, I care about the worst case scenario and I also care about people a) telling me the truth b) not trying to jerk me around and c) not avoiding me.
Next item on the list: the floors. ETA for the floors was end of April. Great! We are not ready for them yet but it is good to know that they are available if we need them. Last week, I get a call from the rep saying "would it be really inconvenient if the floors arrived mid-May?". Uh oh... that doesn't sound very promising... What's happening now? At any rate, I told her that mid-May was fine but no later than that. Okay, she says, let me get back to you tomorrow. A week later, I still have not heard back. That is definitely NOT good.
So I called yesterday:
Me - "Hi, how are you? Have you received any news as where the floors are?"
Rep - "No, I am sorry, I will call tomorrow".
Me - (thinking "but you were supposed to call last week...") "oh, ok... well do you have any idea if the floors are on their way... Have they been shipped?"
Rep - "I don't know".
Me - "OK... are the floors still in Germany?" (which would be a fucking disaster).
Rep - "I don't know..."
Me - (thinking "What the fuck do you know then??????") "Can you please find out and let me know tomorrow".
Rep - "Yes, I will call you tomorrow for sure".
The thing is, the rep is this very very nice woman I have been dealing with for years. We have a good rapport and that's the only reason why I stayed calm. During the whole conversation, I felt like banging the phone on the table and saying "What is going on here???? Get me a fucking answer!!!!!". I know she is not responsible for this screw up but what I would like is for her to get me an answer right now, good or bad. She is supposed to let me know today... but I still have not heard.
I am very concerned and annoyed right now.
Well, in my case, not really. I have never wondered about hinges. In fact, until a few weeks ago, I didn't even care about them... Until I got this phone call from my builder: "Can you go select the hinges you'd like for the interior doors as well as for the entrance door?... Me "O_O.... I didn't know that was part of the job description... Where do I start?".
Yes, where do I start? Because it turns out that when you start exploring the world of hinges, you are in for many sleepless nights. It is almost like diving deep deep deep into the ocean and discovering all these weird species of fish and sea creatures that you never knew existed. Well, obviously, not quite... In fact, it has nothing to do with it. Hinges are sort of boring, they tend to pretty much all look alike but still there are books and books of reference for them.
At any rate, I went to the hardware store and befriended one of the owners there, who knows everything about door hardware, hinges, locks and he sort of makes the whole thing interesting. I came in and told him what I needed and he went at the back of his store, brought back a few catalogues, told me what to look for and said "good luck, come back and see me when you have found what you like".... "Find what I like... Did you just hand me the last Anthropology catalogue, because I can tell you, I will find many things I like. "No, no he said. These catalogues are all about hinges...". Gulp... I can't believe this. Anyhow, I went home, and started to look at the catalogues... Pages and pages of hinges that looked almost identical. Talk about finding a needle in a haystack.
Meanwhile, the phone is ringing...
Builder: "So any luck with those hinges?"...
Me: "Say the word hinges one more time, and you are fired"...
Builder: "Ha ha ha! Yes, hinges can be an exciting subject"...
Me: "You bastard!!!! You set me up for this, didn't you?".
Builder: "Ha ha ha ha! Good luck".
Anyhow, I finally took a good look at those catalogues and really, there are only a few things to consider: size (3"x3", 4"x4", 3.5" x 3.5", 4.5" x 4.5"...) ball bearing or plain bearing, extruded, heavy duty or not, finishes, shape square or radius corner, metal, plated steel or stainless steel, made in the US or made in China. In a nutshell, that's it. Once you have the size, thickness and weight of the door, it is sort of easy, you just pick the style you like. And all should work out...
Well, unfortunately, it is not that simple...
First set of hinges I picked and brought to the carpenter for the interior door: "No, they are too big, see the knuckle sticks out, I need smaller ones". Alright. Back at the hardware store, picked up smaller ones. Gave them to carpenter: "Yes, they are perfect". Phew! Mission accomplished. That wasn't so hard, it only required two trips.
Second set of hinges for the entrance door. Now, this is where trouble starts. The entrance door is a big mama, bigger than a standart entrance door (It is heavier and also thicker). Based on my hardware person recommendation, I got a few sets of the 4"x4" heavy duty ball bearing square corner, stainless steel madeintheUSofA hinges. Those babies were brought to the person who was prepping the door. He said "no, these hinges are not strong enough for that door". Okay. Back to the hardware guy, who is now pulling out the big guns: the 5"x5"... very heavy duty hinges, that should do the trick he said. Builder brought the hinges back to the carpenter. I get an email "the hinges are too big!!!"... Holy cow... Seriously, is there someone in this town that can figure this out? This ain't rocket science for God's sake. I started to do a little bit of research. The ideal hinge for that door is a 5" x 4.5"... only available in the US. Bummer. I finally found a 4.5" x 4" stainless steel somewhere, so I went to pick it up. While reading the label, I realized that this hinge was made in china. As expected, it worked like absolute crap. We are all standing at the house yesterday afternoon, looking at these hinges and trying them out. Quite a sight.
Carpenter: "Yes, this one is the right size, but it doesn't work very well."
Builder: "Hummm, yes. But wow, check this one out. The Cadillac of hinges."
Me: "OMG, c'mon now guys...What do we do? Can we cut it down to the chase here, please?"
Builder, asking me: "Well, what do YOU think? You are our hinge expert now."
Me: "OK, that's it you are fired, both of you".
Builder and Carpenter: "Ha ha ha ha".
Yes, they both are really afraid of me!
At any rate, after a few phone calls back to the hardware store, it seems like we have located the dream hinge. It required about five trips but we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Holy shit, thank you. I just was about to give up on that one.
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