The building permit headache.

So here we were, after the architect debacle, with in our hands the plans for our house which took about 7 months to be completed O_o , a floor plan that we absolutely loved and exterior elevations that we were thrilled with. At this point, we thought that we were so close from getting started. Our new builder, a remarkable man who is the best thing that has happened to us since the project started, couldn't wait to get going. Our architectural technician had a complete set of drawings ready, including the drawings from the mechanical and structural engineers, that he was now bringing to City Hall. Oh the excitement on that day, the feeling of something HUGE about to happen, the tears in our eyes (well almost) when we got the green piece of paper to post on our construction fence saying that we are officially applying for permit. And the promise of an answer from the City in 10 days!!!

Roughly 4 weeks later, our permit is pending... which means that we have not started construction yet.

WHAT HAPPENED??? Let's rewind a bit here and illustrate our point with some pieces of "live" conversations.

Our technician (who is bringing the permit application on our behalf), Murphy, called us on his way back from the City "it went well but the head of the building permit office is a bit of a dick very detail oriented and has the reputation of being picky so it might be taking a while..." Us "ok, well, we will have to wait and see". About 10 days go by when we get a call from our technician saying that "we have passed the zoning stage" and that we are moving on to the building reviewing stage. Apparently passing the zoning stage is like getting into med school and finishing first of your class. We are almost celebrating with Veuve Cliquot and fireworks at this point. But NOT so FAST... A few days later, Murphy calls us with some news from one of City building examiners who is asking for a whole new bunch of drawings from the structural engineer (who meanwhile charges $250 an hour so you'll want to use him sparingly), demand that we suspect is courtesy of our super giant asshole neighbors not-so-nice neighbors. Two weeks later, drawings have been accepted and status of the permit on the City web site is "pending"... wow, that's great... but why is it still pending when we know we have successfully completed the brutally difficult obstacle course that was nicely laid out in front of us?

That's because the City loves to make you jump through as many hoops as possible and also because they are complete amateurs who don't give a shit about their job completely overwhelmed with work. In our case, the building permit office was supposed to transfer our file to Forestry (so Forestry can ask us to put a huge deposit on a tree located on our lot but "belonging" to them in case we would damage or kill the tree) but didn't... so here we are having to wait for Forestry to go and take a look at the trees on our property and let us know whether we will need to give a $12000 certified cheque or a $20000 certified cheque. Hum hallo... what is this??? The word now is that we need a $12010 certified cheque and that we will finally be granted our permit. Holy sh*t, seriously, that's all it takes????

I am now running to the bank, getting the cheque, my beloved husband is driving to the City to bring in the cheque and to get the permit... Ouff, so close... yet so far! It turns out that we are missing yet another document that needs to be provided by the structural engineer (here goes another $500) in order to get the permit! I mean, come on, how much more difficult can it be? The missing document is emailed to the City and we can now see that the building permit has been issued but that it can only be picked up once the demolition permit has been issued... I am sorry, what was that??? *_* OMG, it is a good thing that I don't own a kalashnikov and that I am not a complete psycho!!! That process would drive any unstable person up the wall.


So to wrap up the building permit chapter, the key here is to try (and it is quite challenging... wait make that extremely challenging) to not lose your mind. Apply the Zen philosophy principles to each of your dealings with the City. It will drive you insane otherwise. Now, I am just hoping that Monday morning I will be holding in my hand my Building permit and I have champagne in the fridge to celebrate this major event!